Mystico’s Eerily Accurate Horoscopes

mysticoAries  This is the day to ditch your laser-like focus. Fantastic ideas flow from a wandering mind — but rein it in by week’s end, or risk a liberated noggin that remains stubbornly loopy.

Taurus  A scheming foe is being coerced by an unseen puppet master. Clip their  strings, and join forces with your new ally!

Gemini  Good ideas, like snowflakes, are fragile and fleeting things. Let a pen and pad be your shovel this week, when a powerful brainstorm blankets the overnight hours.

Cancer  Shame is this week’s monkey on your back. A normally unhealthy sense of stubborn pride will scratch the itch into oblivion. Go, girl, go!

Leo  A trio of Monday events will challenge the structural integrity of your moral core. Tell temptation to take a hike!

Virgo  There is nothing unique about your Polar Vortex complaints — so chill out, and warm up to the notion that others are just as cold!

Libra  Your fond recollection of a cartoon character’s pithy catch phrase inspires you to settle on the main dish of an important dinner.

Scorpio  Justice is served in this month’s waning days, as a seemingly disinterested party shares a secret that redeems your reputation. Say “thanks” with a Ziggy card!

Sagittarius  The results of an Internet personality quiz leave you deeply unsettled. Repeat to yourself, calmly: Eight questions cannot determine which Disney princess I am!

Capricorn  You will be compelled to excavate a mothballed sweater long regarded as drab and dull. What else are you willing to warm up to, as the years take their toll on your once-stubborn resolve?

Aquarius  At a party, you will be tempted to binge on the contents of a particular snack tray. Show restraint, and court the favor of a comely admirer.

Pisces  A blank look never helps — but do resist piping up when a conversation veers into territory beyond your expertise.

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